by Nick Ferro, Contributing Writer
In 1999 I was a freshman in high school, with a slight case of arrested development. I wouldn’t necessarily say that this is the sole reason for my enjoyment of the brand new and incredibly funny Nicktoon SpongeBob SquarePants, but I’m sure it played a major role. However, one could also point to the show’s incredibly irreverent humor that, looking back 25 years later, was definitely ahead of its time. Plus, I have always had a strange relationship with quirky outside the box humor. Not to say that SpongeBob pushed the proverbial envelope in the way of irreverent kids animation with an adult sensibility. This was no Bevis and Butthead or Ren and Stimpy, but it was, to me, the perfect middle ground between those shows and the tamer offerings Nickelodeon had at the time. Whatever the reason, this show had me hook, line, and sinker for the next six years. In fact, my wife and I went to see The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie for our one-year anniversary of dating and we had a blast.
Since then, I have fallen off on both the series and keeping up with the plethora of movies to have been released, save for the occasional episode. However, there was something about the marketing campaign for the new movie that had me saying, “Is it time?” Maybe it was the Christmas season, in which the two SpongeBob Christmas specials are required yearly viewings in my house, but I was very much looking forward to The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants. But be warned weary readers, this is not just a review of the new SpongeBob movie! For the heads at Paramount have made one of the only good decisions in recent memory surrounding the release structure of this movie. For you see, there was another little “movie” attached to this one. A short film that had me even more excited titled: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Chome Alone 2 – Lost in New Jersey. So, strap in for this double review as we take a dive into two animated movies, one worth your time and the other, not even close!
The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants is not by any standards of quality, a true SpongeBob movie. It is, sadly, a generic cartoon movie, in a SpongeBob skin, made for children under seven to stay occupied so their parents can have a break to nap, do chores, or cook. The movie was not engaging, it did not push the envelope, it was not funny, and it did not hold my attention (no surprise). But what should be a surprise was its inability to hold the attention of my thirteen, eleven, or even seven-year-old. The movie ended and they all ranged from bored to actively angry that I would bother to take them to even see the movie. My eleven-year-old especially hated the movie, which is incredibly rare for her, so to hear her polishing up her resume to become a full-time writer for Cinema-Sins as we walked to the car was both amusing and concerning. How exactly do you make a SpongeBob movie that even kids hate?? Well to paraphrase Melllvar from Futurama, “They found a way…”
The basic premise of the movie, if you are curious, is that SpongeBob (Tom Kenny) wants to be a “big guy” and go on a scary roller coaster, but he chickens out and thinks that the only way to not be a chicken is to go on an adventure with Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke) and the ghostly Flying Dutchman (Mark Hamill) into the deepest depths of the ocean full of monsters. In an effort to save their friend, Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown) and Squidward (Rodger Bumpass) follow and get into shenanigans of their own. Most noticeably absent from the film is Sandy Cheeks (Carolyn Lawrence) in which the movie does make a pretty decent fourth wall break joke to question Paramount on that bad decision. But when you think about it further it becomes even more frustrating realizing they knew leaving Sandy out was a bad idea, and yet, did it anyway.
Ultimately, I cannot for any reason whatsoever recommend you watch The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants, because it is not a movie for anyone who is of school age or older. Especially while Zootopia 2 is still in theaters!The animation is fine, the voice work is fine, the story is fine, but it fails at the very basics of what a SpongeBob project should be and that is: Funny. HOWEVER, now that you have patiently waited for the real reason I assume you have stuck around this long (or scrolled ahead), was it worth the price of admission? Maybe, but only for one turtle sized reason.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Chome Alone 2 – Lost in New Jersey is a seven-minute short film set in the universe of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem. Unlike Search for SquarePants, Chrome Alone 2 is beautifully animated with the same style and care of its full-length counterpart. Set at Christmas the turtles, now no longer hiding in the sewers are trying to shop for a gift for Splinter. While out they see a commercial for some new toys that are very clearly a rip off of them. Not wanting their likeness to be stolen and profited from, they head to the worst place they could ever have to go: New Jersey! Once there they learn that the evil AI robot man Chromedome has taken every pop culture thing imaginable and tried to market it for maximum profit and the Turtles must defeat him to… save Christmas? I don’t know and frankly I don’t care because this short was AWESOME!
Not only does it look gorgeous, but it also had some excellent choreography, once again, for the turtle’s fighting scenes, AND it actually had a message about the dangers of AI. In the seven minutes that this short was playing there were more laughs and noises from the full auditorium than the entire 90 minutes Search for SquarePants was on the screen. The humor is up the same alley as Mutant Mayhem, and I can’t stress enough how this new iteration of the franchise really strikes the perfect balance of modern humor and classic TMNT energy. The four brilliant kids they cast to voice the turtles are so impressive because they aren’t just reading jokes, they are taking the jokes and giving them perfect timing, vocal inflection, bringing these characters to life in such a special way. Shamon Brown Jr. especially, as Michaelangelo is such a standout for me as his comedic timing and humorous asides brings a new dynamic element to a tried-and-true character. Unlike, Search for SquarePants, my kids loved it as well and were all cheering “Horse-a-bunga” and other clever jokes from the short afterwards for the next few days. I loved it because it filled me up with TMNT nostalgia and it was nice to see these characters again after their incredibly successful first outing. And from what I could tell the general audience also had a good time watching it. I really cannot stress how important it is that Paramount get off their butts and start releasing sequels to this franchise yesterday!
For those unaware, they have recently dropped the second season of the sequel series Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on Paramount+, which is another solid entry in the TMNT franchise. But until a sequel is released this is what we have to revel in. Should you go see The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants just to check out a seven-minute Ninja Turtle short? No probably not, not at today’s ticket prices. But if you have a theater subscription like AMC A-list, then absolutely take the time to go check it out and then go see something else the second the SpongeBob movie starts. Horse-a-bunga dudes!
Rating:
The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants – Did Not Like It
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Chome Alone 2 – Lost in New Jersey – Loved It
The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Chome Alone 2 – Lost in New Jersey are currently playing in theaters
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