by Patrice Downing, Contributing Writer
Have you ever had the occasion to measure anogenital distance? No? Yeah, me neither. I’m guessing you’ve never even heard of it until just now? I hadn’t heard of it until recently, myself. Across my many adventures in healthcare settings for both my family and me, I’ve encountered all kinds of oddly specific medical tools and units of measure. There’s the standard sphygmomanometer to check blood pressure, goniometers for measuring a joint’s range of motion, catheter tubing diameter is sized in units curiously called “French” (Fr), and the incredibly unifunctional Prader orchidometer (literally a stringed set of beads used to measure testicle size…please don’t ask how I know about that one). Yet somehow, The Plastic Detox far and away brought the most obscure of medical measurements to the forefront in the discussion concerning toxicity of phthalates: the aforementioned anogenital distance.
I’m sure by now you are wondering: what on this planet could such a specific medical measurement and a documentary exploring microplastics have to do with The Super Mario Galaxy Movie? That’s an easy one. Absolutely Nothing! However, the journey that led me to learning about this incredibly obscure and intensely intimate unit of measure is what brings us here. Even if you’re new here, you may have already started to figure out that I am a voracious consumer of factual content. After watching Pride & Prejudice (2005) for what is easily the dozenth time, as usual I stopped what I was doing to savor the hilarity that is Tom Hollander delivering the famous “exemplary vegetable” line when discussing the boiled potatoes. While not a part of Jane Austen’s original text, it slays me every time. But it also got me thinking about the bountiful harvest from home gardens that “crop” up in Austen adaptations (Emma Woodhouse is forever dropping off care packages from the Hartfield harvest throughout Highbury). Having experienced the ups and downs of backyard gardening myself in recent years, I started down the rabbit hole of watching documentaries and series on victory gardens, genetically modified foods, livestock, and eventually microplastics in the foods we consume. Full disclosure when I started watching The Plastic Detox I had no idea the subject matter was focused on how microplastics can affect fertility. It was certainly enlightening the number of ways they can make it into our bodies outside of food consumption. And that in a roundabout way is what brings us here today. To shuffle through the spurious, filter through the fabricated, and peel back the plastic wrap in search of the Fact on Fiction.
This month we are going to be looking at one of the most recognizable characters in pop culture history. Whether you grew up playing Super Mario Bros. on an NES, challenging three friends to a race in Mario Kart 64, enjoying a Mario Party from your DS while on a car ride, or playing as a T-Rex using your Switch to play Super Mario Odyssey most of mankind is familiar with the mustachioed, red shirted Italian American plumber and his brother, Luigi. Yet despite their penchant for plumbing and passion for liberating a princess named Peach, we know little about them. So, I began this investigation by rewatching the 2021 docuseries Playing with Power: The Nintendo Story. Narrated by Sean Astin and including interviews from dozens of icons of the industry, Playing with Power goes back to the Nintendo Company’s origins as a trading card company and follows their progression into the powerhouse entertainment institution they are today. Covering the technical, social, and historical aspects of the company’s evolution in a format that includes some really interesting visuals using dollhouse- style models to dramatize parts of the timeline. Unfortunately, as much as I loved this series, I know a five-episode commitment is not for everyone, and sadly as well researched as it is, there is little on the development of the Mario character and his adventures. Which led me in two directions and ultimately landing on dual recommendations this month but still less than 60 minutes of total watch time.
First, let’s talk about the moniker of our main man and the cognomens bestowed upon his cavalcade of companions and adversaries. Starting out as a primate-grappling plumber pursuing a purloined princess under the very straightforward name of Jumpman, to the monogrammed hat-wearing pipe doctor we know him as today, does have a bit of a story behind it. And for that story I turned to one of my favorite documentarians from the depths of the YouTube jungle: Norman Caruso, The Gaming Historian. Caruso is a fact-finding enthusiast after my own heart. For almost 20 years, he has been foraging through files and folders in archives across the nation as well as surfing digitally transferred resources to create some of the most well researched gaming content available for public consumption. Caruso combines sketches, trademark documentation, and concept art paired with promotional footage, magazines, commercials, and more to tell comprehensive gaming stories. I really cannot say enough about the quality of the videos he produced, and I use the word “produced” over “producing” intentionally. Sadly, a week after I began researching this article, Caruso announced he will no longer be putting out new videos. But true to his nature as a preservationist, he has donated all of the documentation he spent weeks copying at the National Archives in Kansas City, MO to Archive.org, making them available for at home viewing. Honestly, I can’t wait to peruse the hand drawn Donkey Kong sketches from the original arcade cabinet and read more of Shigeru Miyamoto’s deposition from Universal v. Nintendo court case, concerning the similarities of the Donkey Kong character to King Kong. But enough gushing over Caruso’s exemplary examination of facts, back to Mario and friends finding their fictive sobriquets.
How the Mario Characters Got Their Names is a brisk 23 minutes but absolutely packed with creator, cultural, and company conversations concerning the elite eight Mario world member’s chosen names. Considering seven of the eight appear in Mario Galaxy (Sorry, Wario. Maybe next time.), I thought this would be a fun way to learn more about the pack of pixelated pals as they venture outside of the Mushroom Kingdom and into the expanse of outer space. What I enjoy most about that video is Caruso’s addressing all of the most prevalent accepted anecdotal stories in pop culture about the naming origins of several characters and truly separating the facts from the fiction. I’m not going to spoil any of it here, but I will leave you with a bizarre coincidence referenced in the video. The President and Chief Operating Officer of Nintendo of America from 2019 up until this past December was a man named Doug Bowser. You can’t tell me subconsciously that name didn’t help tilt the scales in his direction when interviewing for the position. I mean if I owned a donut shop I’d totally want to hire a qualified candidate named Baker. Corporate Synergy, Baby!
Now, I did mention there would be deux recommendations this time around, and while we may already be over 1,000 words in, I didn’t forget, and I promise I’ll make this part quick. Many argue there is little to no plot in this current crop of Mario adaptations, and they may have the teeny, tiniest of power up star tipped points. However, the games themselves were not exactly plot heavy themselves for the majority of the franchise, and that’s OK. A 10-year-old channel on YouTube called The Leaderboard has the perfect solution for helping fill in the gaps. The Complete Super Mario Timeline…So Far by a video hosted and researched by Marcus Jahn literally covers every iteration of the portly plumber from being delivered by a stork as a newborn babe in Yoshi’s Island throughout his youth and adolescence playing all kinds of sports and ultimately earning his advanced degree to practice medicine in Dr. Mario and eventual retirement playing checkers in Mario’s Game Gallery. It’s a breezy watch that takes a creative look at over 100 titles in 20 minutes in one of the wildest thought exercises you’ll ever encounter with regards to a fictional character’s career path.
And with that, I’ll say Arrivederci for now, because you know, Italian. I hope you’ll join me again next time as I continue my journey to peel back the puff, sort through the synthetic, and adventure through archives in my quest to find the Fact on Fiction.
You can read more from Patrice Downing, and follow her on Serializd and Letterboxd